(I came into church to write a brief blog on my day off so that I wouldn’t miss a day of posting.)
Well, I almost forgot. I almost started to depend on myself. I almost neglected to start my day in surrender.
I woke up today feeling pretty good. Awake. Alert. Pretty strong. A tiny bit of thinking, “Hey, maybe this fasting is going to be easy now. I’m not feeling the intensity of the hunger pains. I’m not obsessing as much about eating. I’m not counting down the days until Sunday. I’m feeling pretty strong.”
And so, I almost forgot to cry out to my Savior for His strength, peace and joy. I almost went out the door to begin my day’s activities without falling to my knees in surrender. I almost thought I COULD DO THIS.
But I caught myself just in time. Another lesson learned among the multitude of lessons my Savior is teaching me during these first five days. Again I’m humbled…and grateful…and dependent.
“Thank you, Holy Spirit, for your gentle reminder that any strength I am currently experiencing is simply and completely because you are at work in me. Thank you for nudging me to recognize that if I make it through today without obsessing about food or cheating just a tiny bit or getting a little down because I can’t eat something fun and special on my day off – if I do any of this, it’s because you are at work in me. Thank you so much for drawing me to my knees. Thank you for being so faithful and patient with me. I owe you everything. And I love you so much.”